I Am Scared, You Know.

I am scared that I might actually be wasting away my youth.

Settling for things, when I can do better. Accepting a fate that I’m capable of changing.

Refusing to think happy thoughts and toying with my health.

I am scared that I am relying on a degree I hope to get from a failed educational system.

I am afraid that I will leave the university, as an individual who knows nothing outside the scope of the courses I’ve crammed hard to pass.

I am afraid that I might become a simple minded adult who doesn’t know at least, a bit about a lot of broad topics.

Not being able to contribute when my mates discuss sensitive issues. Being the clueless one, all the time.

I am scared that I might really be drifting in this world. No vision. No purpose. No direction.

Not making any effort to better myself. Refusing to improve my skill set. Laying down on my back and doing absolutely nothing.

I am afraid that I might become the one who is hard to love, the one whose lover has to constantly ask himself if I’m worth holding on to.

Refusing to express how I feel. Holding on to the past. Refusing to have a share of the happiness that I deserve.

I am scared that I might become a parent who will want to live the parts of my life I can’t get back through my children.

Beating them for every slight mistake. Refusing to let them see the world for themselves. Teaching them to fear, not love me.

I am afraid that in my attempt to be strong, I will push away the ones who love me and walk far further into this dark tunnel which end, I cannot see.

Shutting everyone out. Constantly putting myself down. Refusing to see the me that he sees.

I am scared that one day, I will give up and get tired of feeling my way through this darkness.

I am scared, you know.