I Don’t Know What Balance Is.

I don’t know how to be enough. 

I want to love you. But it’s either I cling to you and expect you to make the sky red or I stay away and love from miles away.

I want to be honest. But it’s either I say all the things on my mind or pretend there’s nothing to say.

I want to be comfortable. But it’s either I wear next to nothing and prance around or wear a huge sweater because I don’t want you to notice my bones.

I want to be kind. But it’s either I say that you’re actually a great person, unrealistically hype you or look at you and then look away because I don’t always say nice things. 
I want to be enough. 

I want to know how to love you without being difficult or moody.

I want to just talk and not worry that you really don’t like talking to me.

I want to be your friend without slanting my eyes and not saying what’s on my mind.

I want to be comfortable and not wonder if you can see a stray bone jutting out of my chest.

I want to say what’s on my mind without bothering that you’ll wonder if it’s me or my illness talking. 

I want to be enough. 

I just want to be enough. 


  1. How we feel but can’t exactly put to words. Even when we believe that we are enough, we still want the ones we love to see us that way.


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