I Don’t Know What Balance Is.

I don’t know how to be enough. 

I want to love you. But it’s either I cling to you and expect you to make the sky red or I stay away and love from miles away.

I want to be honest. But it’s either I say all the things on my mind or pretend there’s nothing to say.

I want to be comfortable. But it’s either I wear next to nothing and prance around or wear a huge sweater because I don’t want you to notice my bones.

I want to be kind. But it’s either I say that you’re actually a great person, unrealistically hype you or look at you and then look away because I don’t always say nice things. 
I want to be enough. 

I want to know how to love you without being difficult or moody.

I want to just talk and not worry that you really don’t like talking to me.

I want to be your friend without slanting my eyes and not saying what’s on my mind.

I want to be comfortable and not wonder if you can see a stray bone jutting out of my chest.

I want to say what’s on my mind without bothering that you’ll wonder if it’s me or my illness talking. 

I want to be enough. 

I just want to be enough.