I am very scared.
I think Mother may soon leave us.
Dad, Titi and I went to the hospital today to see her. She looked very weak and she couldn’t talk to us. But when Titi asked her if she’d come home this weekend, she tried to smile. The sides of her
lips curled up a little and she blinked, slowly.
“Mother, Segun has been cooking Jollof Rice for me but he doesn’t give me two pieces of meat “, Titi said. My mother smiled again.
Father bent a little and touched the side of her face with his right hand. “You’ll be fine, Esosa. You will. This won’t take you away. You’ll get better and… “, he broke off, trying to keep the sobs choking the back of his throat from leaving his lips.
He moved to the corner of the room and stood there for a while, his face in his palms.
Titi went to stand beside him. She clung to one of his legs and said nothing. Maybe she was starting to understand that Mother was really going to die. She looked like she was going to cry but she didn’t. She just stood there.
I ran my hand through my short hair and took a deep breath. Mother would never see me graduate university, she wouldn’t live long enough to plan my wedding, to pick which Aso Ebi was better than the other. She wouldn’t even live long to pick what to wear for my first interview.
I put my head next to her pillow and cried.
“I am sorry”, I said and sniffed. “Forgive me for all the things I could not do, Mother. I didn’t know that the time would be this short”.
Someone shook me awake.
I opened my eyes to see my mother standing over me. She looked worried. I was covered in sweat.
“I was checking on you and your sister when I heard you talking in your sleep. Are you okay? ”
Oh. Father in Heaven. I was breathing fast and couldn’t say a word.
It was a dream.
She sat next to me and brought her face closer to mine. “Segun, are you okay?”, she asked again. I hugged her in one swift movement.
“I love you, Mother. I’m glad you’re here. I am so happy”. I didn’t want to think about how saying that I was happy at 3am in the morning made no sense but I was really happy.
She hesitated for a couple of seconds and hugged me back. “Oh, I love you too, my child “