This Is Not Home.

This is not home.
No, it’s not.
Just a place I’m validated to stay in.
A place I can have the right to ask for
Things I wouldn’t be
ashamed for.

This is not home.
No, not at all.
It’s a place where I can fake it all
Day long
Pretend everything is fine
Act like I’m happy
And everyone is alright.

This is not home,
No, not close.
It’s just a place where this emptiness
That won’t leave comes to roost.
Where I lose myself more with every sigh.
Where I can give hollow stares and curl up in a corner.

This is not home
No, it’s not.
It’s a place I have to learn to live
With the ones I connect to with the red
Liquid so I can fit in the real world.
So I can learn to return every jab with a parry and never stay down.

This is not home.
Not, not a bit.
It’s where I learn to be cold, quiet
And angry at the things I cannot change.
Where I learn to see and keeps my lips sealed.

This is not home.
It is not.